Here’s What Happens When You Put A Tree Log Into A Hydraulic Press

There really is a tree-mendous amount of force on show in this video (sorry, that was awful)

tree-log-vs-hydraulic-press

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

As writers for an action sports and adventure website, we tend to spend a lot of time outside. Now, we’re not sure when the last time you went outside was but maybe you remember something called trees. Ah, yes. Trees. Big old wooden things, with leaves, and branches, and birds nesting them in. Trees.

If you’re like us, maybe you’ve looked at a tree before and thought: “I wonder. I wonder what would win in a fight between a tree, and a hydraulic press? I wonder what would win that fight?.” Of course, if you’re looking purely at the hydraulic press’s track record of crushing literally everything – you’d have to back it. But what if? What if the tree could somehow – I’ll stop you there. The hydraulic press annihilates it.

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The post Here’s What Happens When You Put A Tree Log Into A Hydraulic Press appeared first on Mpora.

From The Simpsons To South Park | 16 Snowboard Graphics Inspired By TV

If you’re obsessed with Downton Abbey, you’re going to leave here disappointed

tv-shows-snowboarding

In one corner, you have snowboarding. In the other, you have sitting on the sofa and watching television. From a health point of view, the physical act of snowboarding might seem like a far healthier thing to do. But alas, anyone who’s even spent just a few nights immersed in snowboard culture will know that there’s not much in it. Binge-drinking, excessive quantities of pizza, and some other stuff we won’t go into here makes chain-viewing ‘Rick and Morty’ while eating an entire multi-pack of Real McCoy’s look relatively tame in comparison.

Anyway, that intro leads us neatly (or messily, depending on your viewpoint) onto these snowboard graphics inspired by a variety of TV shows. We’re not going to lie. The Simpsons feature heavily.

1) South Park

Snowboard-South-Park

2) South Park (Again)

south-park-snowboards

3)The Muppets

The Muppets Snowboard

4) Breaking Bad

breaking-bad-snowboard-design

5) Adventure Time

Adventure Time Snowboard

6) The Simpsons

The Simpsons Snowboard

7) The Simpsons (Again)

The Simpsons Snowboard

8) The Simpsons (One More Time)

the simpsons snowboard

9) The Simpsons (It’s a Popular Show, Guys)

the simpsons snowboard

10) Game of Thrones

game of thrones snowboard

11) Rick and Morty

Rick and Morty Snowboard

12) Rick and Morty (Again)

Rick and Morty Snowboard

13) Dragon Ball Z

dragon-ball-z-snowboard

14) Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles

teenage-ninja-mutant-turtles-snowboard

15) Pokémon

Pokemon-Snowboard

16) Peanuts/The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show

peanuts-charlie-brown-snowboard

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The post From The Simpsons To South Park | 16 Snowboard Graphics Inspired By TV appeared first on Mpora.

Here’s What Happens When You Put Mountain Bike Suspension Forks In A Hydraulic Press

Find a loved one, hold them close, and brace yourself for some seriously brutal footage

mountain-bike-fork-hydraulic-press

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

Go inside your mind palace and picture your mountain bike. Got it? OK. Good. Now, try to picture your mountain bike without its suspension fork. Looks odd, doesn’t it? Looks, well, it doesn’t really look much like your mountain bike anymore does it? Well imagine a scenario where you discover your mountain bike is inexplicably missing its fork, at the exact same time you get a DVD in the post.

What’s on the DVD? What the hell’s on it? You say these questions out loud but then you remember you live alone. You’ve always lived alone. Just you, your mountain bike, and the call of the trails. You don’t need companionship. Never have, never will. Companionship is for the weak, the needy; life’s losers. Turning the mystery DVD over in your hands, you think about watching it but are scared of what you might see on there if you do.

“RIP suspension fork. U r wiv da angles now.”

After roughly 10 minutes of looking at the disc, you decide that it’s not going to insert itself into the DVD player and so tentatively make your move. A button is pressed. The disc-tray comes out, you gently place the disc down before sending the tray back from whence it came. There’s a brief moment when nothing happens and then it’s there. Up on your flatscreen. Footage of your fork clamped in a hydraulic press.

mountain-bike-suspension-fork-hydraulic-press-channel

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

You take sharp intake of breath. What is this? What’s happening? You pinch yourself in a mad, desperate, attempt to wake yourself from the nightmare. A friendly Scandinavian voice speaks: “Yeah, everything is now ready.”

“Ready for what? READY FOR WHAT?!” you shout, with panic in your voice and beads of sweat cascading down your forehead.

The hydraulic press kicks into life. The sound it makes. The horror, oh the horror. You watch, not wanting to but unable to stop yourself, as your mountain bike fork gets mangled and disfigured by the sheer force being put on it from above. It’s brutal. It’s savage. It’s the Hydraulic Press YouTube Channel doing the only thing they know; crushing stuff with a hydraulic press.

RIP suspension fork. U r wiv da angles now. Video below.

mountain-bike-suspension-fork-hydraulic-press-3

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

mountain-bike-suspension-fork-hydraulic-press-4

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

mountain-bike-suspension-fork-hydraulic-press-4

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

mountain-bike-suspension-fork-6

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

mountain-bike-suspension-fork-hydraulic-press-7

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

If you’re still with us, and you’ve got the stomach for it, here’s what a saddle looks like before and after a hydraulic press session:

mountain-bike-saddle-hydraulic-press

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

hydraulic-press-bike-saddle-2

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

If you’re still with us, and you’ve got the stomach for it, here’s what a bike lock looks like before and after a go in the big HP:

bike-lock-hydraulic-press

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

bike-lock-hydraulic-press

Screenshot: YouTube (via Hydraulic Press Channel)

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The post Here’s What Happens When You Put Mountain Bike Suspension Forks In A Hydraulic Press appeared first on Mpora.

YouTuber Ryan Taylor Snowboards (Badly) At Chill Factore After Hiding At Closing Time

Does this video cross a line in pursuit of laughs, or is it all just fun and games?

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

You know what it’s like. Heading to your local big fridge in the build-up to winter, and finding the slopes so crowded that you barely get enough laps in to justify the trip. You came for the riding, you stayed for the queuing. But what if there was another way? What if you could have the place to yourself?

BMX rider and YouTube star Ryan Taylor, as well as two of his accomplices, appear to have found a way to make that dream a reality. In this video, which you can watch below, Ryan and his comrades hide out in Manchester’s Chill Factore at closing time before breaking from cover to enjoy snowboarding badly, trying out the luge run, and larking about with nobody but themselves for company.

Of course, it doesn’t all go plain sailing. At one point, they’re confronted by a security guard who wants to see some evidence that they’re allowed to be there filming. Ryan (aka ‘The Bullshit Artist’) manages to spin some fishy story about how they have permission to shoot an overnight prank and, after some e-mail forgery, he just about gets away with it; going on to ride his BMX on the snow.

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

One of the most ridiculous things about this story is that according to the video description, Ryan edited it at a police station. It’s not exactly clear what happened but it would seem that, in a daze of adrenaline, he accidentally left one of the cameras behind and then audaciously accused Chill Factore of theft.

“I’ve edited this video in a police station today trying to get my camera back from the f*ckers that stole it. and I have got it back now so that is over and done with!” he wrote.

A Chill Factore spokesperson said: “We are aware of the incident and it is currently being investigated.”

Earlier this year, Ryan was involved in a similar stunt when he spent the night at Snozone.

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-bmx-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

ryan-taylor-snowboarding-chill-factore

Screenshot via YouTube (Ryan Taylor)

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The post YouTuber Ryan Taylor Snowboards (Badly) At Chill Factore After Hiding At Closing Time appeared first on Mpora.

How Taking Up Bouldering As A New Year’s Resolution Changed The Way I Think

“Bouldering isn’t just about the climbing. It’s about the falls and, most importantly, how we respond to them.”

bouldering-the-arch-biscuit-factory

Photo: Jack Clayton

Picture the scene. I am six years old. It’s after school and me and my friend Liam are bored of sliding down the slide in his back garden and have decided, for some unknown reason, that it’s actually much more fun to run up a slide and then jump off the ladder. We’ve already done it a few times now and are getting that mad, rebel-without-a-cause, kick from it which only six year olds could get.

Standing on top of the slide, arms outstretched, I’m a boy in my element. In that moment, death is a concept outside the sphere of my understanding. I am immortal. I am the greatest man who ever lived. I am a god. And then, well then, I fall. Getting my left forearm caught in the ladder on the way down, I snap the middle of it in such a way that upon landing it sticks out at a perfect right angle. Do I cry? Just a bit.

Fast forward four years and I’m walking round Paris with my mum and dad. It’s my debut visit to the city and I’m blown away by how French everything is. Because we’re only in the famous city for a short period of time, we’ve decided to cram in as many of the iconic tourist attractions as humanly possible. First on the agenda, the Arc de Triomphe.

“I am immortal. I am the greatest man who ever lived. I am a god.”

When I first see it, I’m immediately intimidated. In the pictures, it hadn’t looked that big but up close it looks absolutely enormous; a beast of a structure towering over cars and people in the middle of a busy roundabout. My parents are keen to go over to it. They want to get a closer look, maybe go up it in fact. I immediately pull back, desperate to get away from the thing. My whole body becomes riddled with panic. Do I cry? Just a bit.

Later that day when visiting the Eiffel Tower, which is a whole six times taller than the 50m high Arc De Triomphe, my parents watch on perplexed as I cower beneath it like it’s Godzilla and I’m a monster movie extra waiting to be crushed. Turns out I really don’t like looking up at things. Turns out my dislike of heights gets going while I’m still on the ground.

January 2017. I’m clinging to the upper part of a bouldering wall in Bermondsey; painfully aware of both the drop and the numerous eyes staring up at me. It’s not quite clear what I’m doing but because I haven’t moved for a while the onlookers are currently going over the following scenarios in their heads: A) This man has died, B) This man is taking a nap, C) This man is suffering from a debilitating case of nerves like the kook he so clearly he is. The answer’s C.

slide

A slide. Not the one that broke this writer’s arm, but a slide nevertheless. Photo via Getty Images.

I’d decided to take up bouldering as a new year’s resolution and, unlike so many new year’s resolutions before it, it was one I was evidently keeping to. On a wall in a south London industrial estate, with no idea how to get down or get higher, I was technically bouldering albeit in the most static way imaginable.

“There’s a tiger near your left knee,” says a voice from below.

“Yep. Yep. OK. I think I can get it,” I say, reassured to see for myself that the voice below is referring to the pattern on the hold rather than the big cat predator.

I clumsily shift my body weight and manage to get part of my left foot on the recommended tiger. But no sooner have I done this, my right foot slips and my hand grip loosens. With the force of gravity living up to its reputation as an occasionally cruel mistress, I’m immediately falling down towards the mat in a style best described as a “goalkeeper’s belly flop.” Imagine a fridge-freezer hurled from a bridge, and that’s basically what I look like in that moment.

bouldering-bermondsey-the-arch

Shot taken at The Arch (Biscuit Factory) in Bermondsey. Photo: Jack Clayton.

Introducing floor to body and body to floor, like they’re strangers and I’m their mutual acquaintance, a loud ‘THWACK’ echoes round the space on impact. There’s a big collective “Ooooooh” noise followed by a couple of “Mate, are you alright?”/ “Dude, u k?” lines as I get back on my feet and check that nothing’s broken. Nothing is.

It’s my first big bouldering fall and, 11 months on, I’m happy to report that it stands proudly as the first of many. My almost one full year of bouldering has been brilliant. During my time doing it, I’ve learned that there’s always a solution to something even if it might not be obvious at the get-go. I’ve learned that it’s OK to fall, and that embracing the fall and learning from the mistakes is how we progress. It’s made a positive impact on both my physical and mental health. I really can’t recommend it enough.

“Introducing floor to body and body to floor, like they’re strangers and I’m their mutual acquaintance…”

Does all this mean I’ll be jumping off playground slides perched precariously on top of the Eiffel Tower anytime soon? No. Probably not. Learning bouldering hasn’t suddenly turned me into an Alex Honnold character. I’m not planning to solo El Capitan without ropes, or do any of the other mad stuff he does, anytime soon. What I will keep doing is looking up, getting on the wall, falling off that wall from time to time, and then looking up once more to approach the problem in a new way.

Bouldering isn’t just about the climbing. It’s about the falls and, most importantly, how we respond to them. Whether you’re looking to take it up as a new year’s resolution or just generally keen to try something new, I reckon you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the ways in which it alters your thinking.

For more information about climbing at The Arch, check out their website. 

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