Surfing Puns | 23 Surfing Jokes So Bad They’re Brilliant

Water we doing with our lives…?

surfing puns 17

Surfing Puns Are A Barrel of Laughs

Surfing puns! We know you love surfing, or you wouldn’t be here, and we know you love puns – because who doesn’t? – all of which means that we can happily now present to you the best five minutes of the rest of your lives.

We’ve got all the surfing puns you could possibly ask for, or to be more exact, we’ve got 23 of them, and they’re all so, so bad that they’re absolutely brilliant.

We challenge you to read all 23 of these out loud while staring deeply into someone else’s eyes and not crack up at some point. And yes, a concealed smirk counts.

Now, if you also love cycling then you should check out our wheelie awful bike puns as well, and our ski and snowboard puns that are snow bad they’re brilliant.

If you’re after surfing jokes though, you’re already in the right place. So without further ado…

1) A surfer smoked marijuana before riding some small waves. Apparently after, the tide was high.

25

2) I saw a man riding his surfboard on top of a Soleidae fish. He was a soul surfer.

surfing puns 24

3) My mate caught some waves between France and England then went home to flick through the TV. He was a channel surfer.

surfing puns 22

4) A friend once saw Kanye West, Jay-Z and Deadmau5 waving at them while he was surfing. It was a Tidal wave.

surfing puns 23

5) It was a warm day, but I knew how to keep cool as soon as I saw Mick fanning.

Mick Fanning along side teenage cancer patient Ben Beasley - Photo: Jared Williams

Mick Fanning along side teenage cancer patient Ben Beasley – Photo: Jared Williams

6) I was hosted a comedy festival while on a surfboard. It was a barrel of laughs.

surfing puns 20

7) It’s always been my ambition to be a champion surfer, but I’ve just got so much on at the moment. It’s a pipe dream.

surfing puns 19

8) I securely put away my wallet and phone, made sure I had all my stuff then headed out to the waves. It was lock, stock and barrel.

surfing puns 18

9) I always take out insurance before I surf in case the waves start breaking.

surfing puns 17

10) I loved surfing in the 1950s. It was always just swell.

surfing puns 16

11) The CEO turned up for his first day on a surfboard carrying a three-piece Armani dripping with water. He misunderstood when he was told to bring a wetsuit.

surfing puns 14 5

12) Kelly Slater arrived at a shop with immaculate customer service. As soon as he walked in they asked “are you being surfed?”

Kelly Slater announces his retirement from surfing

13) I saw a melancholy surfer catch a wave another dude was already riding. It was his drop in the ocean.

surfing puns 14

14) The medieval longboarder needed a way to relax when he found out 20 traitors were plotting against him. In the end, he decided to just hang ten.

surfing puns 13

15) We hated the try-hard newbie until he made us all burgers. Great cook.

surfing puns 12

16) Apparently Laird Hamilton can even ride big wave with one foot off the board in the water. He calls it tow in toe-in surfing.

Laird Hamilton interview

Photo: Connor Baxter

17) My friend looked all duck-faced grumpy. I guessed he had bailed hard, so I asked him, “why-pout?”

surfing puns 11

18) The surfer was confused when he was asked to carve the turkey on Christmas Day. His eventual attempt raised a lot of questions around the table, and left his Christmas present covered in turkey.

surfing puns 2

19) Having rejected the turtle roll, the vegetarian surfer ending up eating the wave.

surfing puns 4

20) Jeff wanted to grab food but I told him I was meeting Gabriel for Me-dina.

surfing puns 5

21) The first time he tried to surf the web he ended up breaking his surfboard.

surfing puns 6

22) He said “my name is John John”. I told him “great to meet you John but my name is Stuart”.

surfing puns

…and finally:

23) How do surfers say hello to each other? NO, THEY DON’T WAVE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO EASY. They shaka their hands. And then they wave. And then they say What’s SUP (If they’re also stand-up paddlers). You’re welcome.

superbank_Joli.jpg

You May Also Like

23 Cycling Puns That Are Wheelie, Wheelie Bad

23 Ski and Snowboard Puns Snow Bad They’re Brilliant

The post Surfing Puns | 23 Surfing Jokes So Bad They’re Brilliant appeared first on Mpora.

Watch – Furious Female Cyclist Gets Revenge On Van Man Who Abuses Her

It’s rare you find yourself condoning a wing mirror being ripped off, but…

This genuinely shocking footage shows a female cyclist being verbally abused by a man in a van.

Caught on GoPro by a near-by motorcyclist, the cyclist is waiting at a red traffic light when the van, already next to her, lurches closer. The moron on the passenger side shouts from his window “Do you want my number?”

She didn’t.

It would be bad enough if it stopped there, but it gets worse.

The cyclist pushed the wing mirror of the van, which only makes the luddites inside even more moronic. “What charm school did you go to, ay” asks the high-visibility chimp inside. “You wanna tell your mum and dad to get their fucking money back”.

Britain’s Transport Secretary Suggests Cyclists Don’t Count As Real Road Users

When the cyclist replies – which is inaudible – the arsehole in the van comes back with “shut up you old dog”. What was that about a charm school? He then asks the woman if she’s on her period before reaching out of the window in a bid to make some sort of unsolicited physical contact with her.

Female cyclist takes her revenge on abuse van man - Photo: YouTube/Viral Thread

Female cyclist takes her revenge on abuse van man – Photo: YouTube/Viral Thread

The lights then turn green, and the cyclist flips the bloke in the van her middle finger, before giving chase. A few seconds pass before the van pulls up and the cyclist catches up to it. She then proceeds to rip the driver’s side wing mirror clean off.

We see a lot of Cyclist Vs Motorist videos here at Mpora, and our reactions range from amusement when things get a bit silly, to anger, when it appears that somebody is genuinely wronged.

But this? This is disgusting. We certainly don’t defend ripping the wing mirrors off vans, but people should be able to go about their daily business without fear of being harassed by bigoted arse-clumps.

You May Also Like:

Women’s Cycling in Africa | The Ongoing Fight Against a “Culture of Chauvinism”

Ricky Gervais Gets NSFW After Seriously Struggling to Pump Up Bike Tyre

105 Year Old Robert Marchand Just Set a New Hour Record, Cycling Over 14 Miles

The post Watch – Furious Female Cyclist Gets Revenge On Van Man Who Abuses Her appeared first on Mpora.

Contest at @skydivebrand (NOT HERE). Caption contest over at…

Contest at @skydivebrand (NOT HERE).
Caption contest over at @skydivebrand (look for this pic and put your best caption below)

@Regrann from @skydivebrand – Best caption wins a free shirt! (must follow @flying_dawg_skydiving to be eligible)
@Regrann from @flying_dawg_skydiving – Helping out a friend. #dieepic #teamblackstar #jointheteem – #regrann – #regrann

@skydivebrand
@skydivebrand (at Die Epic)

AIR + STYLE INNSBRUCK 2017

Air + Style came to Innsbruck for its first tour stop of 2017 last weekend. Yes, exactly where its roots come from, the most iconic big air snowboarding competition proved again its great ability to bring together the world’s best snowboarders along with music artists. For the first time after 34th years, Air + Style invited eight of the world’s top women s nowboarders to burn the atmosphere up! In addition, forty rad male riders plus sixteen major live acts with urban music legends such as Beginner and Biffy Clyro have created one massive winter urban vibe! Congrats to Max Parrot

The post AIR + STYLE INNSBRUCK 2017 appeared first on EXTREME.

106-Year-Old Skier Lou Batori Filmed Skiing At Crystal Mountain Resort In Michigan

If anyone ever tells you “skiing’s a young man’s game,” show them this inspirational footage.

Lou Batori Skiing

Screenshot: YouTube (via CBS)//Pictured: Lou Batori’s 100+ bage.

Remember George Jedenoff? The 99-year-old who’s still mad keen on skiing?

We wrote about him last week and you, quite rightly, took him into your hearts.

Not to be outdone by this, a man seven years George Jedenoff’s senior has stepped up to demonstrate his slope shredding skills. Lou Batori, who’s 106-years-old, first went skiing as a 10-year-old boy in Hungary. The video below, uploaded last week, shows him skiing at Michigan’s Crystal Mountain.

Here’s Lou being interviewed by CBS way back in 2011. What a legend.

You May Also Like:

8 Of The Coolest Skiing T-Shirts

10 Of The Best Books About Skiing

The post 106-Year-Old Skier Lou Batori Filmed Skiing At Crystal Mountain Resort In Michigan appeared first on Mpora.